And So It Was Said…

Here are some funny things that have been said over the last few days:

Me: Did you just call me a cow?
Bean: No, I called you a heifer.
Me: Isn’t a heifer another name for cow?
Bean: Yes
Me: So you called me a cow.
Bean: No.  I called you a heifer.

I Heart Tom after seeing my dog Willow for the first time: I shall call you MO for morbidly obese.

I fell asleep with yellow tinted sunglasses and was woken up by Bean: What? Hey…what’s going on…why is everything yellow?

What I thought Bean Said: I still have to take a crap.
Me: The nuts you just ate should help with that.
What Bean actually said: I could go for some crab dip.

Bean: I’m pretty sure Bjorn’s gay.
Me: How can you tell.
Bean: He has a sparkly swim suit.

Me: MY MONKEY!!!

Bean: You’re so pretty (while stroking my face).  She says this when I say something stupid.  This means she says this a lot.

Bank Lady: What is your relationship?  I have to fill it in or it won’t process.  Your choices are Friend, Mother, Step-Mother, Sister, Grandmother.
Me: Grandmother…um…no…friend.  Can friend be in quotes?

Me: Aw…look at the deer.
Bean: What deer?
Me: Over there…squished up against the fence.  (pointing at them).
Bean: Honey…those are sheep not deer.
Me: Are you sure?
Bean: Yes…and Hon…could you just drive.
Me (Getting back on my side of the road): They looked like squishy deer too me.

Lou (while a group of us were talking): Moo.

Do you think I can get my own show…Sh*t Everyone Else Says?  Seriously it would be a hit.