Dear IDrinktokillthepain

Dear Abby,

I’ve got this little friend whom I’ll call Napoliana.  She’s not a bad dog person but I’m the only one that sees she isn’t completely evil.  It’s not her fault her parents were brother and sister.  Really, do the children get a say…NO!  Any way, she’s got this issue where she barks yells all the time.  No matter how I’ve tried to help her she’s still a little fucker asshole.  I’ve taken to the bottle because she just doesn’t know when to shut up.  Besides Rehab do you have any other advice to help me?

Sincerely,

I. Drinktokillthepain

Dear I Drink,

I recommend a higher proof of alcohol.

Good Luck,

Abby