Since when has Customer Service become the Fuck You Labyrinth of Hell? I had problems with my DSL yesterday. We had suffered a power outage in the area and wanted to check to see if that had anything to do with it. Simple enough right? The answer to that silly question was NO!
I spoke to a call center who asked me to turn everything off and then back on. Yeah okay…got that…it never would have occurred to me [sarcasm I love you]. After much frustration and anger I hung up. Doesn’t that dude call me back. He wants to set up an appointment for the Tech to come out and look at my DSL problem. I told him I didn’t want that and after saying the same pat answer over and over I relinquished. I told him I work and was available from 5-5:30 pm for the tech. His counter offer was…8 to 1 window. Um…I work so I counter his counter with 5-5:30 pm…he countered the counter of the counter with 1 to 5pm. Um…still I’m at work then…then there were several other counters to which I said I don’t frickin’ care anymore. He set up an appointment for Friday. The window on Friday is apparently enormous at 8 am to 7 pm. Why not say Fuck You Asshole I’ve got your balls in a vise. Well you know if I had balls.
Anyway I figured out the problem and we had internet last night. Moving on to Verizon’s hell maze 2.0. I get a call confirming my appointment that I didn’t want to make in the first place. The option was 1 for okay 2 for cancel or changes I hit 2. It was directed to Verizon Wireless. That girl was lovely and stayed on the line talking about snow with me until someone in the DSL department picked up. And when they eventually did I was told they were having problems with their phone lines and she couldn’t transfer me so she gave me a number to call on my own because she couldn’t transfer me. WTF?!? The phone company’s phones are down. I’m not feeling at all confident in them now.
I call the 800# from hell and was on hold the first time for 8 minutes before giving up. I called the second time and was on hold for 10 minutes before I hung up. I call the third time and was on hold for 5 minutes before someone picked up and what transpired next left my blood pressure on boil.
Me: I need to cancel a service call. [several basic questions about my account happened next]
Verizon: I need to check your line.
Me: I just told you my line is working now and that’s why I am canceling the service call.
Verizon: I’m checking your line and it seems to be working okay.
Me: Great now will you cancel my appointment.
Verizon: I need to go into a live chat with someone from that department, please hold.
Verizon: They are going to run a test on your line first before they will cancel the appointment.
Me: You just did and it’s working.
Verizon: They have to do it on their end before they can cancel the appointment.
Me: Are you serious? All you have to do is hit cancel the appointment on my account.
Verizon: They are having issues with their equipment and will check your line later and then cancel the appointment. You will receive a call.
Me: I’ve come full circle and seriously this is stupid. I can’t wait to cancel my Verizon service for something else. Anything else would be better than enduring this hell for one more moment.
Verizon: You will receive a call later confirming the cancellation. Just hit option 2.
[insert elevator music here to eclipse the tirade I unleash on this poor man]
Me: No I’m not doing this anymore. Just cancel the appointment. If someone comes out and I’m later charged for the service call I will loose my mind and that would be bad.
Verizon: You won’t be charged. When you receive the call…
Me: (me cutting him off and being rude because I now have an aneurysm) I’m done and hanging up.
Verizon: Uh…okay…have a nice day and thank you for calling Verizon.
In my defense every time I started to get snarky or rude and yell at this poor man I told him I was sorry for my rudeness but Verizon was making me angry.
I’ll never get that part of my life back and I’m currently looking for a new provider. Verizon might not need my business because they are huge but I find it hard to believe I’m the only one this is happening too. So Verizon can suck it and I’ll be moving on…I would like to bill them for my time lost though. They suck!