The Eternal Sunshine of an Empty Mind

I got the most miserable night’s sleep last night.  Sometimes work plagues my mind and last night was one of those moments.  I was desperately trying to remember Monday’s activities.  I couldn’t remember if I took care of a particular item and there you have it.  Middle Age has zapped my brain!!! 😦   What’s killing me is I remember yesterday no probs but why Monday is forgotten is bizarre.  I remember aspects of Monday but not this one little thing.  If it was something personal I wouldn’t care.  I’d be miffed a bit if I say missed a doctors appointment but this is driving me crazy.

I’m sure it’s because I’m a Virgo and control freak but I wish I could just be laid back and relaxed more.  With every passing year I get more wound up and pretty soon I’m sure my head will burst open like the turkey in Christmas Vacation.

So I’ve dropped a pant size which is a good thing.  I think next week I’m going to start exercising a little each day.  It’s amazing how one can lose weight without dieting or exercising.  But then again I’m fat so it should make sense.  I’m now very aware of food.  I haven’t denied myself any thing (yesterday I had some chocolate chip cookies) but I’ve come to realize it’s all about portion control and adding more protein to my diet.  I’ve had only one soda in 3 weeks which is like coming off of crack.  Everyday I think about it, I want it, I crave it!!!  Not withstanding, I thought this would be a lot harder.  Now wearing pants that I haven’t worn in 1-1/2 years I’ve found new purpose in my goal.  My only goal is to feel better, be more comfortable and just enjoy it.  No more suffering through diets that make me feel bad about myself and leave me hungry.  I haven’t stepped on a scale yet and probably won’t for a while.  I think if I feel I’ve lost more weight than I have it will just motivate me further to my goal of feeling better.  I do not need numbers to validate my goal…my old pants fit that’s motivation enough!

p.s.  Congratulations Kristi and Mark for winning DWTS !!!!

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